January. A New Year.

‘New’.

It seems that the definition of the word is lost during the month of January. New Year’s resolutions are far from revolutionary.

January allows brands and businesses to convince us that we have overindulged so much that we really should feel awful. If we’re not feeling awful about those mince pies, we should probably re-think the meaning of indulgence. Tut. Condescending voiceovers remind us of brands’ ethereal presence, and January is the perfect time for their products and services to re-emerge, just in-time to save humankind from fat, flab and feeling awful. New Year; new resolutions; new solutions... recycled from last year. If you weren’t thinking about losing weight, you should. Everyone else is! You must try this diet which allows you to snack, and this food which makes you never want to snack. Oh, and this diet which makes you look like Cheryl Baker! Hooray!

Sitting on the sofa becomes a sin as bouncy youthful enthusiastic enthusiasts show off their toned bods for a fitness DVD that was filmed 6 months ago. Oh, and not only is TV-watching frowned upon, but that sofa you’re lounging on certainly isn’t suitable for 2011. If you weren’t shopping on Boxing Day and taking advantage of the pre-VAT increase, you must be bonkers. I don’t own a sofa, but I’m still saturated with adverts from furniture stores whose pre-requisite for success is to use acronyms and acronyms alone. Who knows what they could stand for...

On this theme, January is also a time for shops to clear out stock. Those winter coats that were new-in two weeks ago are pushed aside to make way for swimwear and flip-flops. We know that the fashion stores operate on their own seasonal axis, though this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy up the ‘SLASHED’ price goods which are still very much appropriate in this cold weather. However, sale items loiter in the corner well into February looking crumpled, dusty, and so last year as we stock up on florals and linen. Spring/Summer ‘11, innit!

Resolutions shouldn’t be restricted to be made in January alone. There’s far too much else going on anyway... playing with Christmas presents, for example. And before you ask, no I don’t have any resolutions as such. I’ll change what I want in my own time, when I have time!

Roll on February.

Categories: my life, rants and ramblings