Friday, 29 April 2011

Will 4 Kate

Crowds gather for a royal wedding,
They lay their heads upon anorak bedding.
Big up Blighty! Be proud to be British!
How soon will the nation's contentment diminish?

Devil's food cake with buttercream filling. (KB ©)

French Chantilly and English lace,

Silk tulle misted across her face.

Synched in waist with a flowing train,

Eyebrows and eyeliner remained the same.

The future king with his steady stride,

Looked just as gorge as his approaching bride.

#awkwardmoment thanks to Wartski's gold band.

Sausage fingers or a sweaty hand?

Rake in those shares of Lily of the Valley,

Whilst everyone's eyes are on Pippa and Harry.

Glorious trees with no expenses spared -

Get hitched next week and their foliage is shared. (Win!)

A long weekend to remove the decor;

A 'royal' mess from the week before. (PUN.)

With bunting binned and banners torn,

It's fair to say I'm quite forlorn...

*small sob*

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Working in an office when the weather is like it is

You may have noticed that the weather has been quite nice lately. I'd definitely say the wind chill has died down to a comfortable level, and the clear skies tend to create actual warmth rather than fake warmth you could probably reproduce with an eco-lightbulb.

However, like many, I'm not outside enjoying the sun. I am at work from 9-5. This post outlines the reasonable number of benefits from working in an IT office for the NHS when the sun is shining it's shiny face in through the windows in (what some would call) a taunting manner.

  • When staff arrive in the mornings the expected flow of conversation is as follows:
    Greeting > Comment on weather > Complaint about being at work during said weather.
    No scary ad-libbing needed and no cringey reaction after you mention your recently neutered cat, having struggled to find a suitable topic of conversation after the 'Hi!'
  • Considerably less tea breaks. It's too hot and stuffy in the office for tea so that means fewer breaks and considerably more time for productive thirsty working.
  • Cans and bottles of fizzy shizzle appear on desks. They create gas which is usually regurgitated loudly within the male dominated office. This promotes animated conversation and lively debate which can be seen as an important team building exercise as the burpee is isolated from the rest of the group...but the non-burpees form a close bond. Go team!
  • Offers flood in to grab packages and deliveries from Reception post-room to encounter 47 seconds in the sun (that's a maximum - even if super-slow-walking and getting unwillingly distracted by a number of different blossoms). This means that the post is checked regularly and everyone's invoices can be dealt with even more fastererer after a mere 1 minute 34 seconds. Phew.
  • Wasps and bees like to visit the office through the window. Those with phobias are kept on their toes and encouraged to concentrate more on work than on the insect. Thank goodness I have work to do as well as that pesky phobia.
  • More accidents happen during warm weather. Fact*. But this means that ambulances go past more frequently; sirens weowing loud. This will remind staff that their job is extremely important.
    i.e. By giving NHS staff account logins, trouble-shooting their Outlook problems, rejigging their network infrastructure and helping them find the 'ON' button, the long and short of it is that THE IT CROWD SAVE PEOPLES' LIVES.
  • Hooray.

*may not be an actual fact

Monday, 11 April 2011

A short book review: Fingersmith by Sarah Waters

(You can Google the blurb too if you really want to...)

548 pages of deeply but delicately intertwined dark and twisty-ness. This page turner will not allow a single word to be left unread. Deemed a Dickens-esque historical fiction, the narrative is so well defined with complex key characters exposed through heart-breaking, powerful story-telling. Waters’ creates such atmosphere and leads the reader beautifully through each chapter to become completely immersed in the desperate lives of Sue and Maud. A handful of gob-smackingly-good twists are carried off effortlessly which results in an extremely satisfying read.
Wonderfully written. Hooray for Sarah!
I had quite a few nightmares whilst reading this. FYI it is pretty disturbing. I take no responsibility if you read it and find it just as intense and then suffer the consequences like I did. Worth it though.. Oh and PS it has lesbians.