Monday, 30 August 2010

My trip to the Job Centre

The other day, I succumbed to the allure of Job Seekers Allowance and made my way down to the job centre.

As I tried to sort out my brolly and shelter under the soffit I got four young lads' smoke puffed at me as they discussed some stuff:

"...nah I can't be f*ed with her."

"Ahah nah not if you've got that 27 year-old on the go eeeeeeeeey?"

"Nah mate nah that was just a one night thing..."

"Yeah, yeah. It was meant to be a one night 'ting.." And all of them joined in, "nothing more than a little one night fling, now when I'm in needs you're the one I ring.. I NEED YOU TONIGHT. HHAHAHA."

"......................Oh f* it we'd better go meet D-Chizzle*"

*It was something like D-Chizzle, but could've equally been Hizzle, Nizzle or Bizzle. I was inside by this point.

If you're not familiar with Professor Green, that excerpt is from his recent hit, 'I need you tonight' and I was thoroughly annoyed to have this track in my head for the rest of the day.

So I filled out some forms and answered 'No' to needing a translator.

I made my way to a waiting area in the middle of the room and accidentally dropped my sopping wet umbrella onto the legs of an old man; I felt bad but then I didn't because I realised that it was stupid that he was wearing shorts in such torrential weather.

I had a meeting with Carol to check some things. We were interrupted as a man came round to reset her panic button underneath her desk that she'd had to use that morning because someone got mad.

I was sent back to the waiting area where there were now only two men sitting. After a few minutes some police officers came towards me and I was scared. Then it was OK because they weren't looking for me at all, and arrested the man sitting opposite who had been looking out of the window for a really really long time.

I decided not to look out of the window, and instead looked down at my forms I had in my hands. Underneath them all was my degree certificate. It was crumpled because I had tried not to let it get wet.

I thought about the three years of hard work and reminisced about university life. That was stupid because I got a bit upset. It didn't help that the man to the left of me really stank of booze so I couldn't even disguise my sniffles as when I snorted my nose would get an influx of stale ale and general poo smell.

Then I saw another lady, Sandra, and she was nice. She asked if I was OK so I said 'Yep' and realised I was a mug so decided to get a grip. We spent some minutes doing a search for jobs which sounded un-fun but she reminded me the most important thing is to get a job and think about career later. Oh. Right.

I came out of the job centre to more rain and gave up trying to keep myself dry. I stopped off for a coffee. Soggy and alone, I focused on the fact I actually had enough money to buy the coffee, even if it was mostly silver coins (and a disguised Euro - win). I noted that I had a nice warm home to go to, and I was alive and well enough to walk myself back.

I will quit whining and carry on applying. As everyone keeps saying, something will come along in the end.

PS. I will be signing on every Wednesday. Hooray!