Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Three Peeves

1) Tuthuffers
  • Train approaches platform.
  • Commuters congregate in small huddles where train doors MAY halt at.
  • Train reaches platform and slows.
  • People suddenly decide to walk alongside the train - faster than it's moving - knocking into those standing on the edge of the platform as they try and catch up with the doors that've already passed.
  • Throughout this process they tut and huff. One lady actually shouted 'Come on!' at me. Come on where? What?!!?! Panic.
I don't understand how I always seem to be in the way and why I deserve any kind of tut. I tried to move along with the huffers but ended up miles away from any door and subsequently didn't get a seat. HUFF!!!!

2) Cyclists cycling through pedestrian underpasses
  • Big 'CYCLISTS DISMOUNT' sign in glaringly obvious position.
  • Cyclists continue to cycle through underpass and ring their bell to notify me of their presence. OR, if they're not lucky enough to have a bell, they change their gears up and down. Yep. They crinkedy crunk through their gears to be as audible as possible without using their vocal capacity.
  • To test whether they're able to say 'Excuse me please' - or produce any kind of sound from their mouth - I continue to walk in the middle of the pedestrian walkway to get a better view around the approaching blind corner. This results in getting barged by a rib-level handlebar.
  • OH! So it turns out this gear-cruncher can speak! But it no longer matters. As he says 'Oh sorry! Are you OK?' he's already 3 metres away and accelerating around the corner - swerving around a Granny just ahead of me but thankfully avoids her ribs because they probably would've CRUMBLED.
Can't people read? Most signs are there for a reason, and 'CYCLISTS DISMOUNT' is obviously there - primarily - to prevent bone-crushing. On a different occasion, I tried moving aside to let them pass as I couldn't be bothered to instigate another accident but then ended up bashing into another pedestrian trying to do the same as we went around the corner. Spent a good 3 seconds doing that awkward side-step-oop-which-way-you-going-there-haha-redface-lolz thing.

3) Peak/Off-Peak
  • Off-peak trains get in to London at 10a.m. or later and I sometimes commute into London on these trains.
  • I get on a train having bought my ticket - I think I'm maybe one minute earlier than normal so that's good! Hooray, maybe I'll be able to stand still on the Central Line escalator today! :)
  • Ticket conductor comes whizzing through the carriage mumbling 'Any more tickets?' and I'm like 'Ooh, that's me! Hold on a sec! Come back! HEY!' and he walks back to where I'm sitting - by the window, next to a man with a big big bag on his lap so I am kinda hidden and peeping out, smiling and waving like a big big loser.
  • Ticket conductor does a smirk and proceeds to tell me the ticket is not valid for this PEAK service. I'll have to pay a fine at the cost of a day ticket to London.
  • My face looks like this: *_* and is the colour of an earthy beetroot.
  • Me: 'What time does this train get into London?'
    TC: '9.59a.m.'
    Me: 'Oh.'
  • Rummaging through my purse to get the ordeal over with, I can't be bothered to question him or holler or cry. I'm too embarrassed and eeeveryone trying to get a good look but HAHA the big big bag is covering me.
Ticket conductors are really harsh.


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